From Performance to Purpose: Christian Counseling for Porn Addiction, Anxiety, and Shame
As a Christian therapist specializing in porn and sex addiction recovery in Fort Worth, TX, I often meet with men who are burdened by shame, fear, and the crushing pressure to “perform”. Many of them have hurt their wives, wounded their family, and feel distance from God. Therefore, performance is now everything especially since their wives are really hurt. They must perform well to fix their marriage, family, relationships, or reputation. This oftentimes leads to isolation, loneliness, anxiety, and burn out. They’re battle not only addiction, but also a deeply rooted performance-based identity.
The pressure to get it right and fix everything becomes overwhelming. While there’s value in working hard— God calls us to work diligently (2 Thess. 3:10-12, Colossians 3:23-24) many of my clients struggling with porn addiction find themselves burned out, isolated, and exhausted, believing their value depends on their performance.
Chariots of Fire & The Search for Worth
The movie Chariots of Fire is illustrates two types of people. The movie is about two runners in the 1920’s from England. The two famous runners are Harold Abrahams and Eric Liddell who compete in the Olympics in Paris.
Harold Abrahams is a Jewish runner from Cambridge, and seeks to prove his worthy through success. After losing to Liddell in the British Open, Abrahams falls into despair.
Later on in the movie, Abrahams trains and gets ready to race for England in the Paris Olympics. Before his race, he tells himself that he has “10 seconds to justify his existence. But will I?” Abrahams life is based on how he performs. If he performs well, then his existence matters, but if he doesn’t then he is worthless.
Whether you struggle with pornography, sex addiction, anxiety, betrayal trauma, or relationship wounds many of us live like Abraham — desperate to justify our existence through achievement. But this way of life inevitably leads to fear, isolation, exhaustion, shame, and doubt in your worth.
Eric Liddell the son of a Scottish missionary, lived differently. In a pivotal scene, Liddell tells his sister, “I believe God made me for a purpose — For China (to be a missionary there). He also made me fast. When I run, I feel his pleasure.” You see the pleasure of God he experiences in his face as he runs in various scenes.
Liddell’s running wasn’t about proving himself. It flowed from a deep relationship with God, not needing to earn God’s favor or man’s approval. When he is running, He feels the pleasure of God who created him to run. His existence is not justified the 10 seconds of how he performs. His identity and relationship with God will always be there despite the outcome of his performance.
The Freedom of a Relational-Based Identity in Christ
Where in your life are you striving to “justify your existence”? Maybe it is your career, your marriage, your addiction, your addiction recovery journey, or your battle with anxiety. Many of us whether teens or adults, feel pressure to perform.
At Reviving Hope Christian Counseling, our team of Christian therapist in Fort Worth specializes in helping clients move from a performance-based existence to a relationship-based identity in Christ. We offer support for
Porn and Sex Addiction Recovery
Anxiety and Trauma Counseling
Couples Counseling and Betrayal Trauma Recovery
Grief Counseling and Teen therapy (Ages 13 and up).
The reason why we can enter into God’s pleasure is because Jesus performed perfectly in our stead. He is the true victor that has finished the race perfectly for us so that we don’t have to chase a performance based existence. Like Liddel, we can enter into his rest (Matthew 11:28) and live for God’s pleasure instead of trying to earn it.
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Begin your journey by clicking below to begin finding your identity in God’s pleasure — not your own performance.